Its the Second Coming of the $$Million Dollar VCR$$ NR ONLY 1 Mil! NO RESERVE! GUARANTEED to be worth dick!!!! Start Price USD 9,000,000.00 Current Price USD 9,000,000.00 Time Left - Bid Count 0 Buy It Now Price - Reserve Price - Start Time Thursday, May 08, 2008 End Time Thursday, May 15, 2008 Location Las Vegas See more about 'Its the Second Coming of the $$Million Dollar VCR$$ NR' Description SquareTrade © AP6.0 planetxauctions Store  It's the Second Coming of the $$ Million Dollar VCR $$ . pictures description condition--> specifications payment shipping contact terms about us sysrbpwa . Includes Comes with a whole lot of nothing!FREE SHIPPING! Shipping S/H will be $FREE! FedEx ground to 48 States. Click Here to See more details. Become a virtual millionaire in virtual seconds with your virtual bid!!! Picture of actual Item Click to enlarge You are bidding on a It's the Second Coming of the $$ Million Dollar VCR $$ Ladies and Gentlemen!!! I would like to present to you the most fantastic item to ever pass before my eyes!!! It's Stupendous! It's Fabtabulous!! It's Gruesomely Awesomely Supertastic!!! And if you read far enough, you'll start to understand how this one VCR will become the most collectible item in all history ever... forever! It's a frickin' VCR. No reasonable person could ever buy the MILLION DOLLAR VCR I mean seriously... lOOk at it (sorry, I don't have those little eyeball graphics handy). Does that look like aMILLION DOLLAR VCR? Absolutely not. (Manufacturer or generic information provided only for your convenience, anything stated in the section below may not apply to the actual item) NEVER BEFORE HAS THERE BEEN A MILLION DOLLAR OPPORTUNITIY LIKE THIS ONE! This may be the ONLY time in your life that you can buy a VHS VCR for the price of ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! Right now, you're asking yourself... "Who would buy a VCR for a million dollars?" DON'T BE A FOOL!!! One million dollars isn't what it used to be. Every day your government spends a million dollars figuring out the contents of giraffe excrement. Any redneck can win and blow 40 million dollars from a lottery ticket, the phenomenon of which interestingly creates the few times when MC Hammer is still brought up in conversation. So where do we get off offering a VCR for a million dollars? It's simple, really. You see, it is the plan of Planet eXpress Auctions's fearless leader, also the head of a major Asian gang which will remain nameless, to completely deflate the world economy in one fell swoop. This VCR is so absolutely worthless that selling it for.... umm.. excuse me...ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! ...yeah, for doing that, it would create a value vortex where everything would be worth millions and no one could afford anything, therefore nothing would be worth everything and everything would quickly be worth nothing... no buyers make for no market... no market makes for no goods, and soon there would be nothing at all... nothing to show for it... except for THE ONE MILLION DOLLAR VCR!!! which you would hold in your hands, crying as the absolute worst possible violent anarchy reigned over the world, the entire populace driven into madness by the realization (or resistance of it) that their entire lives they've been living a dream, that the reality surrounding them was mass produced, as was everything they've put into their bodies, their minds, and their hearts. Sports teams whose games you can record on your ONE MILLION DOLLAR VCR trade players around all the time. The only real dedication the team has to the city is what individuals they hired locally and any contracts they signed with the city to get a new stadium. Of course, any good historian knows that a sporting event generally tends to soothe the commonplace rubes, or at least keep them under one roof. Normally, this works for the city, making it worthwhile for them to allow the stadiums to exist in the absolute worst parts of town where real estate is sooooo valuable. 10 MILLION DOLLARS PER YEAR!!!Seriously, it's terrible... and then you start getting mad.... what about all the produced junk you see all over TV these days!? Why do I trust Borat more than my own Congress? Who pays me to have to be bombarded with advertisements everywhere I turn? Did you know that they have technology now that can channel sound through the air and hit you with the precisiou of a laser. What basically happens then is you hear the sounds in your head. The application, of course, is marketing. I bet, if we had that sound laser beam thingy, we could probably go out on The Las Vegas Stripand use it on some drunk rich moron and convince him that God himself was commanding him to say yes to the next man who asked him a question (of course, then having the next question be "hey, would you like to buy this ONE MILLION DOLLAR VCR? So... I guess the title of my essay is "Why My VCR Is WorthONE MILLION DOLLARS... And the reason is because my crazy Ninja boss wants to instantly deflate the global economy so that the underground can await the end of the First Wave, which will be quick, relatively painless, and will claim about half of Earth's population. Next up will be the true insanity as things move to the individual level, with madness taking over the minds of about 51% of the US population... strangely, the exact same 51% that voted for Bush in 2004 right down to Jason Collins of Fort Nathan, Nebraska. Jason - if you're out there, this one's for you, kid! Of course, there is no warranty for the ONE MILLION DOLLAR VCR Shoot, it probably works, but who cares? SHUT UP AND HONK IF YOU LOVE GRAVY! By the way, if you've enjoyed this auction, please feel free to check out some of our other fantastic and more reasonably-priced items... And if you're a hot, single woman under 30 living in or visiting the Las Vegas area, be sure to hit us up... especially if someone buys this! Speaking of... as for the (one more time - sorry) MILLION DOLLAR VCR... it's just a VCR. It isn't even 4-Head or HiFi or any of that fancy cool stuff. It's just a VCR. But seriously, that stuff about the economy and all... kinda cool... like something right out of Fight Club!By the way, we are accepting offers on... on this. So if you want to offer.... ugh, i have to do it $$$$500,000$$$$we may be willing to negotiate.Or seriously, a date with an burning baby duck... (get it?) Guaaaranteeeed! (well... most of the time) This item is sold as-is and has no guarantees. What you see is what you get! 99% of the time what you see in the pictures is exactly what you will get, nothing less, sometimes more (we might find extra parts that our interns lost in the first place)! If there are different circumstances it will be clearly noted in the auction description, otherwise assume that what you see in the pictures is all that there is. Payment Payment must be made within 7 days of auction closing, we accept Paypal, Credit Card (Visa and MC only), Bidpay.com, Money Orders, BANK Wire transfer, direct deposit, your first born or your 'of legal age' daughter. Shipping and Pickup Shipping & Handling is $FREE! FedEx Home to 48 states. Items to Canada can be shipped via FedEx ground and will be approx 140% of the stated s/h price (eg. 140% * 10$ = 14$), e-mail us after the auction for a quote. We may use InstaPak "Foam in place" for your item, usually if it is fragile or large... It's super cool foam stuff that we also use for padding at our huge, nude wre$tling matches, so we know it works well, ;) If we arrange a local pick up or you are using your own carrier, you will have 5 business days to arrange and pick up the item. A storage fee (see formula below) will be charged after the alloted time and the item will not be released until it is paid. If you leave it for more than 10 business days then you agree that your item will be forfited (as well as your soul). International bidders please go to USPS.com and calculate for the specefied weight and add $6 s/h. Insurance Required insurance is 2% of final auction price. Contact Unlike some other sellers, we actually care about you and the product. Planet Express Auctions is a licensed retailer with a store front and warehouse. If you need to contact us please send an e-mail to us with your questions. We will provide our phone number if more information is required. As a bidder of our auctions you are authorizing us to conduct research of your information using tools such as Choice Point. Obligatory Disclaimer Planet Express Auctions is not the owner or seller of these items. Planet Express Auctions is simply a bailee acting on behalf of the seller in order to facilitate the sale of these items by holding the goods until the time at which a sale is completed and the items are shipped to a buyer. Planet Express Auctions expressly disclaims any implied warranties of title, merchantability, condition for a particular purpose and non-infringement. Some states do not permit the disclaimer of implied warranties, so the above mentioned disclaimer may not apply to you. Wasting our time If you didn't read the details or terms and ask a question that has been previously stated then we get to add an extra $5 "stupid question" charge to your final price. :) (No, not joking) About Us Planet Express Auctions is an auction consignment company, we have been on ebay since 2000 but have now expanded to an entire company and with dedicated staff to service your needs. bone80173 for our feedback. --> We are proud to be active in the eBay community and strive maintain a great rating! Thanks for bidding! Stuff you should read but probably won't anyway: About Insurance, it is 2% of the auction, if you choose to decline it then we are not responsible if it is lost or for what the mail carrier does to the package. It will be shipped in the condition stated in the auction and nothing else is guaranteed. We do our best to use adequate packing for the items but sometimes things happen (you ever see the movie with T0m H@nks? ... What was that... oh right, C@staway, your volley ball may have become "Wils0n"). Please don't bid if you don't intend to pay and if you do bid and don't pay, bad feedback will be left for you and we will tell your mother, S@nta, G0d, the Sp@ghetti M0nster and the T0oth Fa1ry!! Remember that your bid is a binding contract and we may choose to submit any defaults to a collection agency. Some of our items may have the UPC removed. Local pickup may be available, contact us and we will let you know, if you bring candy or baked goods that may help too. The formula for storage is [ d(s*R) ] d=days (including weekends) s=square ft the item occupies R=$3.50 - the current rate of retail space per sqft in Las Vegas. Your satisfaction is very important to us. If you receive a wrong or defective item, please write a 2,000 word dissertation on what the problem is, we will be grading on grammar and content, if you do not receive a passing grade we will reject your request... Just kidding... :-D please contact us within 7 days upon receipt of package. Returns will not be accepted if we are not contacted within the time frame specified (NO EXCEPTIONS). Products must be returned in the same condition as shipped from us. They must be returned in the original boxes with packing materials, instruction manuals, blank warranty cards and packed in hundred dollar bills. In addition, products must be in their ORIGINAL condition without markings, tape, folds, defacing, urine, poo or ran over with a car. I'm obliged to add some more "fine print" to our auctions because there are some people who still don't understand how ebay works... If you are unhappy with the item for what every reason then CONTACT US! and we will help you resolve it, do not just leave feedback, there may be a good reason for the issue, would you like the same done to you? We will always leave positive feedback if you have. Another thing, we will usually ship your item within a few days of payment but if you sent a money order or personal check expect a delay, it has to be picked up, deposited and cleared before shipment will take place. Also take a look at this, it probably will never take that long to ship your item but understand that within the law we have 30 days. Are you still reading this? Well have a Ps. You know, it's funny, the longer we sell on eBay, the longer our disclaimers seem to get. It must be a "status" thing, who ever has the longest disclaimer is the coolest! Created by eBay Blackthorne ver. 3.1.121.0On Jan-21-08 at 16:05:47 PST, seller added the following information: Terms of Sale  I Expect All Winning Bids to be HonoredRESPONSIBILITY: Unless stated otherwise, full payment, including all shipping and insurance charges, is due via a payment method disclosed in this auction within 10 days of auction close. If not received, payment is considered delinquent 10 days after auction close.COMMITMENT:  I am committed to completing the transaction. I hold the winning bidder accountable for his/her winning bid. Placing a bid on this auction is a legally binding obligation.ACCOUNTABILITY:  Should the winning bidder become delinquent in settling the transaction, I reserve the right to pursue payment through the use of collection services.COMPENSATION:  Should the winning bidder default on completing the transaction, I reserve the alternative to assess and collect a restocking fee as compensation for fees and holding costs related to the incomplete transaction. The restocking fee will amount to $10 + 20 percent of the sale price.Do Not Bid If You Do Not Intend to Pay  Place a Bid!